Your mind’s job is to think and protect you. It doesn’t stop, and it’s unrealistic to think it will stop. The first step to controlling your mind is being aware of where it’s gone when it wanders. Don’t judge where it’s gone, just be aware. Then remember, you control where you focus. YOU CHOOSE where you want to focus. So you might need to reel it back in and redirect your focus.
When your mind tries to take you to something that already happened or something you’re worried will happen, decide if you want to go there or if you want to stick to the moment you’re in right now. We all have moments where we can let our minds wander, and that’s healthy. But remember, you control when it’s okay to wander (and when it’s not). And, if you disagree with this, even more reason to start to learn how!
How and Why To Redirect Your Wandering Mind
My mind wanders a lot…but I’m getting better and better at noticing that wandering mind and getting it back on track. Here’s what I do when I want to redirect my attention:
- I choose an “anchor” or something constant to redirect my attention. This is often my breath, but it could be a sensation or a comforting visual.
- When (not If!) my mind wanders from that anchor, I become aware and I acknowledge my thoughts – but I don’t judge these thoughts, I simply observe them.
- I gently and compassionately redirect my attention back to the anchor…..yes, I said “gently and compassionately”.
I do steps 2 & 3 a lot in the moment – and I stay proud when I redirect my attention vs get frustrated that I had to redirect it. Believe it or not, but THIS IS THE REAL PRACTICE. This is the skill that enables you to live in the moment…even the ordinary moments that too easily can pass right by. This is also the skill that enables you to focus on what you want…..even when it ties back to getting something done (like reading a book, writing an email, creating a strategy).
It’s important to pause and give yourself a moment before you react to your thoughts. Process their nature. Is your thought random? Important? A distraction? A feeling? Fear? An inspiration?
Then, get comfortable extending that pause. Even if it’s a fraction of a second longer, you’re building up that mental muscle of being present and choosing how you react.
Getting better at extending that pause gets you a whole lot better at becoming aware of your thoughts without judging or acting on them. Once you’re able to do this consistently, you begin to realize the power of a super brief pause between when something happens that triggers you and what you do after feeling triggered. It only takes a fraction of a second for you to decide to act differently just after you feel something or think something. And once you’ve trained this muscle, you’ll have better control of your reactions and a greater ability to concentrate.
For example, when you feel anger, it will be easier to choose to take a breath or walk away instead of yelling. When you feel sadness, it will be easier to let yourself cry and ask for a hug, rather than letting your mind spiral into thoughts of doom and gloom. When you feel frustration, you can learn to stay focused (or be fascinated!) instead of snapping at people and saying things you’ll regret. And when you feel inspired or overwhelmed, you can acknowledge the new thought that’s attempting to distract you before you (compassionately!) get back to completing what you set out to complete.
The Most Simple And Relatable Mindfulness Apps & Group Classes
It takes practice, but it doesn’t require perfection! You don’t have to become some zen yoga master who can sit still for hours on end; you can become a more mindful person, capable of redirecting your wandering mind, with just five to ten minutes of practice per day. Seriously. Just a short, quiet moment where your phone’s put away and you aren’t distracted by screens or schedules or people. That’s how I started: just 10 minutes a day.
I started with Calm and Spotify. Apps like these offer short, no-commitment-necessary meditations that make it super easy to wind down and take a moment at the start, in the middle or to close your busy day. They helped me a lot! Reach out and I’ll tell you some of my favorite mindfulness teachers to listen to. The ones that work well for me are the ones who are most like me: not too spiritual; they’re focused and practical and really simplify the process. They could be exactly what you need to get in touch with yourself and be more present.
In addition to the apps I mentioned above, I found myself wanting something more…I enjoyed the “me time,” but I didn’t always want to be alone. I wanted that energy you can only experience when you’re live and in person. So I sought out a more community-focused way to prioritize mindfulness…..like the Peloton model for physical exercise. That’s when I found Pause to be Present.
Pause To Be Present offers the perfect mix of introspection and community, with weekly live virtual (and now in-person) sessions. And their co-founder, Cheryl Brause, is one of my favorite teachers….relatable, soothing and genuine! Meditation is simply a different experience in a group with others “figuring life out” with you. Then imagine if it’s a group you hand-picked….your colleagues, your community, your close friends!! The topics are always so relatable and, even when it’s people you don’t know really well, you know you’re in a safe, supportive space. By working these in-person sessions into my practice alongside Spotify and Calm, I’ve noticed a significant change in my outlook, perception and reactions to everything life throws my way.
The 1st Step To Making the Most of Moments Your Mind Likes To Wander
If I could give advice to my younger, go-getter, business-minded self, I would stress the powers of mindfulness and simply being present. Even more, I’d stress that it may seem hard to practice these, but even the simple effort of trying for a few minutes a day can be transformational. I have realized that a meaningful “workout” CAN be done waiting in a line, sitting in your car, laying in bed, or doing anything where you have a minute to think. It’s all about mindset: Are you ready to train your mind to be stronger, more resilient, and most importantly, under your control?
